Jesus was the good shepherd and is our model pastor.

We know from John that Jesus was friends with his disciples. If we want to be like Jesus, then this should be necessary.

My friend just wrote an article on this very topic.

Pastor like Jesus

I'm in the process of writing about this topic as it relates to broader questions concerning polity and leadership. Answering this question seems quite simple to me, but it involves answering another question: Is Jesus the example we seek to follow in all things, or not? If yes, then we should follow His example as a shepherding pastor.

In John 10 Jesus identifies Himself as the Good Shepherd. He is the paradigmatic example of a good shepherd. What does a good shepherd do? He knows his sheep--and his sheep know him. Furthermore, this isn't a shallow or superficial knowing. Jesus says that He knows his sheep and His sheep know Him AS HE KNOWS THE FATHER AND AS THE FATHER KNOWS HIM! Obviously, this entails close relationships (i.e. - friendships).

If we, as pastors, are not seeking to actually know our people, we aren't following the example that Christ gave us. Obviously, it is impossible for one person to do this for an entire church. Hence, a Christological model of pastoral care DEMANDS a plurality of elders in leadership.

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I've never had anyone discourage me from making friends in the church but in my own experience it has been somewhat difficult..

1. Do you think it's (im)possible, good, bad, etc. for a pastor to have genuine friendships with the people in his pastoral care?

I don't think it is impossible, just difficult in some cases. People tend to view most pastors the way they do a high school football coach, in other words, not someone who stays in one place for too long a time. So the mentality is sometimes that it isn't wise to get close to them because they will just be leaving soon anyway. So that problem could be resolved by a pastor who stays and invests in his church and puts in for the long haul.

2. In what ways, if any, do such friendships help or hinder pastoral mininstry?

I think some possible hindrance could be if any sort of discipline is needed. It could alter the friendship.. although a true friendship will recover.

I personally think it can be a help because the closer you are to that person, perhaps the better you can perceive how to minister to them.

3. Is befriending someone the same as shepherding someong? Should friendships be distinguished from shepherding? If so, why and how?

No, absolutely not. Friendship is not the same as shepherding. they two relationships must be distinguished. the friend absolutely must understand that regardless of their relationship to the pastor they still have to submit to his authority in the church and that they don't have special privileges just because of the friendship. Likewise, the pastor must understand that he cannot exasperate the friendship by assuming the friend will volunteer for anything that the pastor comes up with and needs done.

All in all I would say it can be done (having friendships) and that it can be a very wonderful thing. But some people don't want to get too close to a pastor because they feel like they are constantly being scrutinized for anything they say or do...

It is hard for a pastor to seek out friendship, or maybe it is just me...