Answers for Pastors
What are the benefits of practicing church discipline?
9MarksTo many, church discipline (excluding a professing Christian from membership in the church and participation in the Lord’s Supper because of serious unrepentant sin) sounds downright mean. Yet the Bible portrays discipline as an act of love (Heb. 12:6-11). Here are several benefits:
What is church discipline?
9Marks
Church discipline is the church’s act of confronting someone’s sin and calling them to repent, which, if the person doesn’t repent, will culminate in excluding a professing Christian from membership in the church and participation in the Lord’s Supper because of serious unrepentant sin.
Why is “discipline” not a negative but a positive thing?
9Marks
Discipline sounds like a negative thing. The word makes us think of waking up at 5 a.m., endless pushups, or spankings. These hardly sound appealing!
Yet only the proud person believes he or she is perfect. Humility causes us to realize that we are not finished products. We may need inspiration or healing. We may need to be corrected, challenged, or even broken. In other words, all of us need discipline.
How can I do seminary well?
9Marks
Join a church. Remember that the local church, not seminary, is God’s primary means for proclaiming the gospel, building up the saints, and preparing you for ministry (Eph. 4:11-16). Use your time at seminary as an opportunity to grow in your ministry and involvement in the local church, not to put the local church on the back burner.
Are regular devotions important for a pastor?
9MarksJesus himself withdrew from ministering to huge crowds so that he could pray alone (Luke 5:12-16). The apostle Paul made time to pray for churches near and far (Rom. 1:9-10, 1 Cor. 1:4, Eph. 1:16, Phil. 1:4, Col. 1:3). But in case the examples of Jesus and Paul aren’t enough, here are a few more reasons why pastors should spend daily, personal time in the Word and prayer.
What are some practical ways for a pastor to love his children?
9Marks
Have deliberate, weekly one-on-one time with each of your children, probably to include playing, reading scripture, or praying.
Date your daughters.
Leave the church at church so dad can be dad at home.
Take a child with you on visits or short trips.
Take an interest in what your children enjoy doing.
What are some practical ways for a pastor to love his wife?
9Marks
When a church interviews you for the position of pastor, explain that they are hiring you and not your wife (the Bible says nothing about elders’ wives). When the church asks what she will do, explain that she intends to join the church and be a member, just like everyone else.
Help guard her heart from the church’s extra expectations of her.
Give her space to define her own role in the church.
What are some practical ways for a pastor to love his family?
9Marks
Take the initiative to establish a plan for family worship, then follow the plan!
Come home at the exact time you say you will be home and prepare your heart to serve your family, not be served.
Take responsibility for your children’s education and discipline—don’t leave it to your wife to figure out.
What are some important lessons for parents to learn about their children?
9Marks
Little kids need the strength of your youth; older kids need your wisdom (so have children while you’re young!).
Pack in truth while your children are little and trust the Lord to unpack it in his time.
Study your children. Know their “love language.”
Consistent, loving, faithful discipline brings peace to the home. Inconsistency brings chaos.
What are some important lessons for parents to learn about themselves?
9Marks
To be a faithful steward of your children you must abide in Christ (John 15:5).
Trickle-down theory: Mom’s daily devotions naturally trickle down to encouragement and instruction in the Lord for the children.
Not listening to your children causes you to misjudge them (James 1:19-20).
Our task list is not as important as our children’s thought life.
Preach the gospel of grace, not self-discipline.
Being parented is defining; parenting is refining.
What should I avoid in parenting?
9MarksThe one sentence answer is that parents should avoid wrongly provoking their children: “Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged” (Col. 3:21). Again, “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord” (Eph. 6:4).
Here are ten ways to wrongly provoke your children:
What are some common temptations parents and families face?
9Marks
Sunday morning struggles. It seems that Satan often comes into our homes on Sunday mornings in order to make the Lord's Day a day of struggle. So pray, rise early, and be patient.
Pressure from other people (other church members, Christian grandparents, etc.) to baptize your children. Resist such outward pressure. Instead, look for and test for a credible profession of faith in your child (Prov. 22:15).
What’s wrong with the therapeutic model of counseling?
9Marks
In short, “the therapeutic” borrows a wonderful metaphor from medicine—“healing”—but reduces counseling problems to one aspect of a more complicated problem. Just as doctors aim to heal people, counselors speak of counseling in the same terms. But the problems which enter the counseling office are more complicated than that, involving not just the physical aspects of a person, but the mental, emotional, and spiritual. More importantly, the spiritual is always primary.
What are the advantages of church-based counseling?
9Marks
Church-based counseling places the counseling process into the context of leaders and people who are already responsible before God to watch over your soul. If you have a choice between (i) seeing someone who knows nothing about you and has no obligation to you outside of counseling or (ii) seeing someone who will give an account to God for how well he has watched over your soul (e.g. Heb. 13:17), who would you choose?
How is church-based counseling different from typical Christian counseling?
9Marks
It’s more community-driven than individualistic. Most Christian counseling is purely individualistic. One counselor counsels one counselee. Most Christian counselors talk about relationships but remain wholly disconnected from the other person’s life apart from scheduled, one-on-one meetings in the counselor’s office. On the other hand, church-based counseling is a team effort (Prov. 11:14, 21:26).
