What are some practical ways for a pastor to love his wife?

  1. When a church interviews you for the position of pastor, explain that they are hiring you and not your wife (the Bible says nothing about elders’ wives). When the church asks what she will do, explain that she intends to join the church and be a member, just like everyone else.
  2. Help guard her heart from the church’s extra expectations of her.
  3. Give her space to define her own role in the church.
  4. Get up early and have your quiet time so that you can take the kids in the morning while your wife has her quiet time.
  5. Give her flowers and a hand-written card when she least expects it.
  6. Schedule a regular date night and take the initiative on logistics: organize the baby-sitter, make reservations, and have a plan.
  7. Make sure you know her favorite restaurant, meal, flowers, ice cream flavor, and movie.
  8. Schedule a weekly time when you watch the kids and your wife gets out to do whatever she wants—not errands. When you can, give her a whole day off from the kids.
  9. Decide together with your wife how many evenings you will be gone and honor what has been agreed upon.
  10. On Sundays, leave for church a few minutes early to stop and get your wife her favorite coffee drink.
  11. Ask your wife over a romantic dinner about areas she wants to see you improve.
  12. Take your wife to an encouraging conference.
  13. Plan regular out-of-town personal retreats for just you and her. Plan time on your retreat to write down all the evidences of grace you see in one another’s lives and then share them with one another. Later, spend time writing down your hopes for ways you want to grow as husband and father over the coming year (she doing the same for herself) and then share them with one another.
  14. Respect and seek her opinion on things concerning the church.
  15. Take her on long walks.

(This material is excerpted from the article “30 Practical Ways for Pastors to Love Their Wives & Families”)