A Few Ways Pastors’ Wives Serve Their Husbands


A pastor’s wife, first and foremost, is not a pastor’s wife but a Christian and a church member. She stands most fundamentally before her Lord and Maker as fellow priest in Christ’s temple. As such, she possesses all the same expectations and responsibilities placed on every other church member for love and service. Plus, there is no biblical office of “pastor’s wife.”

That said, she has a unique opportunity to serve and encourage the pastor and his ministry. Differently gifted pastors’ wives do this in a variety of ways. We asked a number of pastors not about everything their wives might do in the church, but how their wives serve them in the ministry. Here are excerpts from their answers:

“By God’s grace, Cindy is the godliest person I know, and I am better in his service because I get to serve with her. I still can’t believe it.” Anthony Coughlin

“Her counsel has saved me from a number of bad ideas, and her insights have helped me shepherd people well.” Dave Kiehn

“I enjoy asking for my wife’s opinion and wisdom on many things; she always provides perspectives that I neglected.” Victor Shu

“We really enjoy doing premarital counseling together.” Nathan Carter

“Laurie has more than doubled my ministry in hospitality, neighborhood evangelism, and counseling.” Paul Alexander

“One of the areas in pastoral ministry that I most enjoy sharing with my wife is helping and counseling other couples. It gives us the opportunity to show others that we are in great need of God’s grace. . .” Enrique Oriolo

One of the greatest privileges of pastoring for me is providing marriage counseling with my wife. We’ve met with many couples over the years, whose marriages have been in varying states of disrepair, and together have had the joy of seeing the gospel’s medicine get to work in numerous ways.” Dave Gobbett

“I particularly enjoy the opportunity to counsel other couples together with my wife. . . we typically have couples we counsel in our home every other week. . . I often do most of the talking, but my wife’s presence and godly input offer a different perspective I could not produce on my own.” Tyler Cash

“We have been most encouraged when leading Marriage Matters courses for Christian couples and also in marriage counseling meetings couple-to-couple where she is a wonderful complement to my gifts and personality.” Tim Chapman

Hannah and I enjoy preparing couples for marriage together. . . We find it wonderful for our own marriage as well as having the deep privilege of preparing others.” Mike Gilbart-Smith

“I’ve loved caring for couples in our church together. Robyn has been able to connect with the wives in a way that I wouldn’t be able to by myself.” Isaias Del Rosario

“I am confident that I have been a more effective and fruitful preacher and pastor because of her prayers for me.” Alex DiPrima

“She provides excellent sermon feedback each week.” Godwin Sathianathan

“She’s incredible at engaging guests who attend our services, and if they stick, she’ll invite them over for dinner to connect with them more meaningfully.” Jon Deedrick

“My wife thrives on caring for people. She always has a nose for any new people in the church, young or old, and wants to make sure they know they’re noticed and our church is a place where they will be cared for.” Gary Kirst

“Because she is slow to speak and quick to listen, our church has only grown to love and respect her. . . our people find her to be a faithful and ordinary Christian who is easy to relate to in the struggles of daily life.” Garrett Conner

“It’s her voice I most want to hear when I am discouraged. She is a great encourager to me.” Kevin Niebuhr

“My wife is an avid evangelist. Whether she’s at the park, in a store, working out, or doing something with the kids, she’s always looking for ways to tell people about Jesus. By her example, she challenges me to be more evangelistic.” Garrett Kell

“Her attention to detail and organization helps our lives run smoothly even on busy and chaotic days. Her care for our home, cooking skills, and sacrificial nature make hospitality not only possible but also fun for our members and us.” James Choi

“By virtue of my extroversion and Meghan’s hospitality colliding, a culture of discipling men and women, young and old, singles and families has been created in our home, often over food around the table or in the room as kids play tag, dogpile one another, and ask guests to play with them.” Raymond Johnson

“Perhaps the greatest joy that comes from partnering with my wife in ministry is laboring together to open up our home for others.” Phillip Howell

“My wife and I love to mentor younger ministry couples together. It is a sweet ministry we share.” Bob Johnson

“My wife intentionally invests in the wives of men who may become elders in the future. By doing so, she indirectly contributes to the future pastoral work of the church.” Joshua Hayward

“Visitation: it’s not my strong suit, and so having her come with me is extremely helpful. I think having her there puts everyone at ease.” Will McKinney

“She has little formal responsibility in the church but carries the load at home so that I can take formal responsibility within the life of the church.” Grant Borg

“Some of my favorite Friday morning prayer meetings have been the ones my wife has attended. Her sincere love for our church shown through prayer greatly blesses me.” Vincent Kajuma

“I have the joy of partnering with a wife who takes seriously her commitment to prayer for fellow members. . . This gives me sweet confidence as I fulfill my pastoral care for the same members she is praying over.” Jeff Kelly

“My wife and I recently traveled to Northern Iraq for ministry. We enjoyed teaching, sitting on a panel, and praying together for the various missionaries who are serving in this challenging place.” Brian Parks.


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