Attend to Your Character

“It is notoriously the case that the outward life of a minister (like the life of any professing Christian) can look one way and the inner reality be substantially different.” – Robert Yarbrough[1]

Before I entered the pastorate, I had marks of Christian character that brothers saw as commendable—hard-working, eager for coaching, zealous for the local church. I loved to hear the Word and to evangelize. My character, however, was lacking.

In those early days of ministry preparation, I needed discipling. I needed an older man to address my decision-making, dating habits, stewardship, and spiritual disciplines. At 21 years old, I pridefully assumed that my shortcomings would iron themselves out over time.

In 1 Timothy 4:16, Paul assumes Timothy’s character will have a tangible impact on the fruitfulness of his ministry. The apostle said, “Pay close attention to your life and your teaching; persevere in these things, for in doing this, you will save both yourself and your hearers.”

Our character can be used by God for eternal good—or our lack thereof can wreak havoc. For the sake of you and your future people’s souls, here are three simple ways to attend to your character.

Believe Jesus Loves You

Sometimes, the most prideful people can be pastors. Pride is known for self-promotion and humble brags. But sometimes, there is a stealth-like pride that manifests as self-loathing. It ignores the humbling truth of Jesus’s love in favor of our own foolish introspection and self-comparison.

Our pride and unbelief cause us to forget that God loves us and rejoices over us in Christ. I encourage you to start telling yourself that God is for you. Take this to heart: “God proves his own love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Rom. 5:8).

The world, the flesh, and the devil remind me of how unlovely I am in my sin. It’s true. But this dark backdrop makes the love of God shine in high definition. He loved us while we were enemies. He gave you his Holy Spirit, in love, to help you, even now. Meditate on these truths daily, brother.

Cultivate Private Worship

Since I was a child, I have always had problems with focus, but I can testify that God has worked amazing changes in my life by communing with him. Here are some practices to consider for your own edification.

Focus

I had a roommate in seminary named Peter who encouraged me to ask God for grace to focus. I started to remove distractions and things that were not good for my soul. For example, I needed less secular music, media, and news. I needed more songs of praise, Scripture, and prayer. I needed more time with Jesus. And the longer I pastor, the more I need.

Read

Years ago, an old friend and pastor named Bob encouraged me to read through the Bible with him in a year. I haven’t stopped. There is nothing like repeatedly immersing yourself in the storyline of Scripture. Spurgeon said, “A Bible that is falling apart usually belongs to someone who isn’t.” Delight over the Word with a fellow church member.

Journal

Another friend, Dominic, encouraged me to journal my prayers. I was hesitant to try, but this has been one of the most life-changing and spiritually strengthening exercises for life and ministry. It has helped me focus, be more thoughtful in my communion with God, and deepen my love for him. It has forced me to sit down, examine my sin, and remember God’s promises in the gospel.

Sing

Fill your life with good Christian music. Exalt God and exult in God. Pull back from songs that are of the flesh and grieve the Spirit. As you lift your hands in praise to God in private, he gives you renewed strength to fight sin.

Pursue Deep Discipleship

When I was in school, I was more involved with my church’s ministries than discipling. I didn’t know to ask someone to disciple me. I certainly wanted more coaching and personal involvement, but back then, “discipling” was not the buzzword it is today.

I badly needed someone to teach me how to mortify besetting sins like self-comparison, self-pity, lust, bitterness, and escapism. These sins are never fun to unearth. They humiliate us and cause us to shrink back. Nevertheless, Jesus did not come for the healthy, did he?

Maturity comes with knowing you need to grow in sanctification constantly. And God uses few things to grow us like relationships in a local church. Sadly, some men get degrees from seminaries but have a very weak relationship with a local church, if any at all. The irony is they expect to lead a church while they themselves have never submitted to one.

My counsel to those of you in training is to find a devoted pastor and involve him in your life. Ask him to run a diagnostic test on your personal habits and thought life. If single, converse with him about your dating. If married, then request that he ask you about your marriage and parenting. You also need encouragement when you are faithful, and a good pastor will be an encourager. This kind of relationship will grow your character and teach you how to be a better pastor one day.

May the Lord richly bless you in your time of training.[2]

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[1] Robert W. Yarbrough, The Letters to Timothy and Titus, ed. D. A. Carson, Pillar New Testament Commentary (Grand Rapids, MI; London: William B. Eerdmans Publishing Company; Apollos, 2018), 254.

[2] Recommended resources: Dangerous Calling by Paul David Tripp, Character Matters by Aaron Menikoff, The Pillars of Christian Character by John MacArthur, and The Path to Being a Pastor by Bobby Jamieson