Find a Mentor!
June 10, 2024
June 10, 2024
New pastors find themselves in a variety of situations that yield an exorbitant number of questions.
That’s bad news for inexperienced shepherds. But here’s some good news: there are pastors who will sit with you, answer questions, and allow you to observe their faith and practice so you won’t needlessly stumble in the dark. If you’re a new pastor, find one of these pastors! They are vital.
What kind of mentor should you look for? Consider the following.
When I moved for pastoral training, I began attending a faithful local church that caught my attention with its expositional preaching. I quickly latched on to Pastor Tyler, following him every chance I could get and asking a ton of questions. He was an exemplary model in two ways.
First, he followed Jesus with a holy consistency. The Tyler behind the pulpit was the same man you would find in the coffee shop, at the service planning meetings, and at home with his wife and kids. Second, Pastor Tyler lived with a holy intentionality—with chapter and verse attached to everything he did. He wanted his life to point to God’s Word, desiring that people would know and follow Jesus.
Pastor Tyler was “exemplary,” but he was not “flawless.” All men are sinners, and the closer you get to a man, the more you will see his blemishes. But don’t let that deter you. Find a man who seeks to be faithful to Christ, faithful to Scripture, and faithful to the qualifications of his office.
In any line of work, it is wise to listen to men who have “been there and done that.” For me, there was nothing quite like the car rides, coffees, and table talks with Brother Jimmy, a pastor for over thirty years. I would pick his brain whenever I got the chance. He was familiar with nearly every situation I would bring to the table.
Among all of Brother Jimmy’s incredible counsel, two lessons stand out. First, ministry is not about starting well, but finishing well. If you’re in ministry long enough, sadly, plenty of men around you will fall because they failed to watch over their life and doctrine.
Second, we can learn from both the positive and negative experience of others. Just like the man who passed along the sluggard’s house, we can look and receive instruction (Prov. 24:30–32). Those who have shipwrecked their ministry, their marriages, or even their faith teach us to guard our hearts from going down the same destructive paths. I’m grateful to have found a joyful soldier to lead me down faithful paths.
Mentoring is relational. Don’t pursue a mentor unless they are eager to prioritize their time with you, and vice versa. A short-lived mentorship won’t bear much fruit.
When I finished seminary, I immediately entered the pastorate at a rural church and just as quickly needed a few pointers. I took a leap of faith and sent an email to Pastor Brian, asking him if he would spend time with me. He didn’t know me well but answered, “Yes! Let’s get coffee next week and chat!” Pastor Brian proceeded to meet with me weekly for six months and let me ask him questions, such as:
Pastor Brian was eager and gracious to spend time with me, and he prioritized his investment. A few minutes each week made an enormous impact on my life and ministry.
On this side of heaven, there will be seasons when complaints come in herds, when change is contentious, when relationships are strained (perhaps even your own marriage), when leadership is exhausting, when giving is down, when more people seem to leave your church than join, and when there aren’t many wins to celebrate. Sometimes, ministry can feel like a derailed train; anything and everything is keeping your flock from moving in a biblical direction.
The grind of ministry can take a toll on a pastor’s mind and heart. Many days downheartedness and disappointment get the best of those in ministry. Satan loves to discourage. That’s why pastors need mentors who are great encouragers, those who lead brothers to get up off the floor, pick up their swords, and press on.
Mentoring is discipling. Remember Pastor Tyler? Even though I always called him that out of respect, my wife and I were hesitant about joining his local church, only because we were ignorant about the importance of church membership.
One day, Pastor Tyler nailed me with an ecclesiological truth bomb. “I love that you are benefitting from the sermons, and I’m glad to have you guys around. You’re always welcome at the church. But here’s the thing: if you’re not a member of the flock entrusted to me, then I’m not your pastor.”
I left that meeting irritated. Who cares about membership? I thought. Does it really matter as long as I show up and drop some cash in the offering plate?
After a couple days, I cooled down and asked him to elaborate. First, Pastor Tyler established Scripture’s authority. God gets the last word. Second, he led me to recognize Christ’s headship, pointing me to Matthew 16:18 to show that local churches belong to Jesus. Christ is the chief. Lastly, Pastor Tyler demonstrated the heart of pastoral ministry. At its most basic level, the pastor’s job description is to point the flock to the person and work of Jesus Christ by opening, explaining, and applying God’s Word (1 Pet. 5:1–4). And who is his flock? Look at the membership!
Pastor Tyler’s mentorship led me to change direction and take part in God’s program—the local church. His words stung a little, but faithful are the wounds of a friend (Prov. 27:6). That single conversation changed my life and prepared me for future leadership.
So, find a mentor—for your sake, for your family’s sake, for your people’s sake, and for Christ’s sake. With the technology available today, there is no reason you can’t find a mentor, join a cohort, or meet with brothers who have walked down the roads that await you.
Silence is a catalyst for care for one’s soul and for combating a noisy, hurried ministry.
If we’re not vigilant as years in the ministry pass, the greater the possibility that the monotony of our routines, the burdens of pastoring, or the busyness of ministry will become excuses for neglecting our primary task.
We want God to set off fireworks, but he‘s more interested in farming.
