The Pastor’s Marriage

Setting Realistic Expectations for Your Wife’s Ministry in the Church
by Dan Miller

How Do Pastors’ Wives Partner in Ministry with Their Husbands?
by Keri Folmar

Pastor, Do Good to Your Wife
by Godwin Sathianathan

Preaching after Fighting with Your Wife
by Cheston Pickard

What to Do When Your Wife Is Burned Out
by Rob Kane

The Pastor’s Parenting

The Biblical Pattern of Terrible Fathers
by Dave Kiehn

Parenting Advice for Pastors
by Ed Moore

Family Worship—More Important Than You Think
by Joshua Chatman

Family Worship—Less Important Than You Think
by John Sarver

Practical Wisdom for Raising PKs
by Paul Twiss

Parenting Around the Dining Table
by Bryan Sloan

Pastoral Ministry when Parenting Gets Hard
by Stephen Brucker

Protecting Your Children from Bitterness Against the Church
by Daniel Bennett

Helping Pastors’ Kids Love the Church
by Brennan Cook

Things I Did Well and Didn’t Do Well in Parenting
by Bob Johnson

A Lifetime of Parenting
by Shane Walker

The Pastor’s Home

Doing Ministry as a Family
by Josh Pool

The Team Mindset of a Hospitable Home
by Gary Kirst

Raising a Family in the Stresses of Ministry
by Andy Constable

Caring for Aging Parents
by Brian Parks

Don’t Use Your Family as an Excuse to Be Lazy
by Rhys Plant

Work to Cultivate a Happy Home
by Mitch Kimbrell

The Missionary and His Family
by Matthew Bennett

The Pastor’s Fitness for Ministry

What to Ask a Prospective Elder’s Wife
by Juan Sanchez

What Does It Mean to Manage Your Household “Well”?
by Mark Redfern

What Does “Believing” Child Mean?
by Justin Taylor

Can a Single Man Serve as an Elder?
by John Piper

Editor’s Note:

My grandfather has been a pastor for almost sixty years. He pastored the church my family attended when I was growing up. I can’t begin to count the number of sermons I’ve heard him preach over my lifetime, to say nothing of all the times I tagged along with him on visitation.

By God’s grace, I can say that the man behind the pulpit has always been the same man who sits at the head of our family’s dinner table. He’s a godly man: a man who seeks to walk uprightly before his Lord. Is he perfect? Not even close, and he’d be the first to say as much. Still, I think following him means following Jesus whether you’re his grandson or a member of his church.

It’s all too easy to think of the church as a world far removed from the home. But Paul didn’t think that way when he told Timothy and Titus what a potential elder should look like. An elder must be “the husband of one wife” and able to “manage his household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive” (1 Timothy 3:2, 4). You see, the home is a man’s “proving ground” (an image you’ll hear evoked multiple times in this issue of Church Matters) for eldership in the church. Failure to lead at home is a nonstarter for leadership in the church.

What this means for you, pastor, is that your ministry necessarily depends on your being a godly husband and father, if the Lord has called you to those roles. All your exegesis and sermon illustrations won’t make up for being a bad husband or a lousy dad. In fact, if either (or both) of those describe you, you risk marring the faith of your wife and children and stunting the spiritual maturation of the members of your church.

And for those like me who aspire to be an elder, let’s not think we’re off the hook. We can aspire all day long, but if we’re not striving to be godly for the sake of our wives and children, then it’s do not pass go, do not collect $200 for us and our aspirations. We might as well stop all the training and preparing if we aren’t intentional about leading our families well.

So, the stakes couldn’t be higher.

And yet, at the same time, God’s grace in Jesus couldn’t be more abundant. There is hope for pastors who are imperfect husbands and dads, which is all of us. That’s why I’m praying this issue of Church Matters would challenge you where you’re slipping and encourage you where you’re already heading in the right direction. Many pastors young and old have contributed articles to these ends. Lord willing, in gleaning from their wisdom, you and I will increasingly display for our families and our churches something true and compelling about God’s character and his great love for us in the Lord Jesus.

—Taylor Hartley